This, That, and The Other (A philosophical treatise)

Even when El Guapo was but a knee-high Guapito, his absolute divinity was inescapable. His incomparable intellect, gravitational charisma, dulcet voice, angelic face, athletic prowess, infinite compassion, uncompromising honesty were (and continue to be) undeniable.

El Guapo recognized even then that there is a clear and fundamental balance in the universe. Duality is a vital and dynamic part of existence. All great cultures, new and old, have explored this eternal theme and how these seemingly warring opposites reside within each of us and this, of course, only parallels the ceaseless interplay in nature, the heavens, etc. All exists and can only be defined by what it is not. One needs the other. To understand what it means to feel cold, one must understand heat. Death is defined by life. The birth of light necessitates absolute darkness. So on and so on.

But this absolute balance is both cosmically beautiful and eternally troublesome to El Guapo. Modesty is an insipid trait that gets us no where, so why beat around the proverbial bush: Fact: El Guapo is the pinnacle of human existence, sheer perfection. And this means, of course, that, by subsequent cosmic necessity, somewhere exists his absolute antithesis – the Lucifer to his Michael (Archangel), the Tom to his Jerry, the anti-matter to his matter, the Scully to his Moulder, the John Baker to his Ponch (see 1970’s Erik Estrada vehicle CHiPs). For this poor, ugly, stupid soul, I weep. But I also thank you, nameless uggo. Thanks for being you. Quoting many a year book, "Don’t you go a-changing."

With the above clarified, again El Guapo will reveal the truth, even if you’d rather ignore it. Even if it makes you shudder. El Guapo is like the owner who forces the dog’s nose into its own feces for its own good. (For the occasional pendejo who reads my words: In the above metaphor, the poop is the ugly truth and in the scenario you are the dog who’d prefer to ignore the steaming pile you just dropped on the carpet.)

So, let me get to the point. Much has been made about inequitable funding for education. Much has been bellowed about regarding our current educational system ironically serving to reinforce existing inequality (on a large scale) rather than fulfilling the popular declarations made about education providing opportunity. Minorities, in particular, like to sing this song. Who are we kidding? Much hullabaloo is made about all kinds of "unfair" practices and situations in all of society. For instance, many even point out that since the schools in Illinois and other states are funded overwhelmingly by property taxes, this only ensures that poor students in poor schools stay poor. But, these people are morons and are missing the point. These are systems and circumstances maintained out of necessity. If it was any other way, the world would implode. Do you want the world to implode? Are you this selfish and short-sighted?

But, like that reluctant dog, we fail to recognize that for others to be educated well there must be a group that is disenfranchised and educated poorly. The down-trodden are serving their celestial purpose. So, smile and stop bitching. It’s part of the plan.

And one final message to that anti-Guapo out there: Please, do not take offense if I see you and cross the street or pretend to have a coughing fit in order to escape your presence. Don't feel slighted. If we meet, we'd create a black hole that would be the end of us all.

"Stay gold, Pony Boy."

Your handsome and humble servant,

El Guapo

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