Message to Your Local News Crews: Stop Interviewing That Pendejo
Near the Corner Store -
Latinos across the country have been listening eagerly to El Guapo's advice. The newest Guapo-inspired drinking game, for instance, has become so popular that Parker Bros. and Milton Bradley are in an unprecedented bidding war for the rights to make it into the next classic. Tentatively entitled "Boracho" (Bow-Ra-Cho) the game is interactive and has players watch the local news and take a shot of their libation of choice anytime the news crew interviews a complete and utter moron. Players take three shots when the pendejo in question is black or Latino. There will be a big Surgeon General's warning on the box, since you will be sh*tfaced in a matter of moments.
Eljumpingbean's investigative team has finally concluded their investigation of media coverage in minority neighborhoods and has proven that your local news crew does intentionally pick the dumbest minority representative in a given batch of witnesses. "Naw, es que guat happened is uh she dun ranned pasted pero fast and sh*t, you know. Hey, can I throw a shout out for my shorteez and my baby mamas. Holla. Anyways, es que she like supposably was going asi, like fast. Pero the otro car went ou' of the el parking lot asi all slow about it...." This excerpt of an interview is not damning in and of itself until you realize that the incident took place outside of a conference for Latino Genius Grant recipients, and the reporters chose the one guy holding the forty, who, in fact, was the only person who did not witness the incident. Oh, and he had stumbled mistakenly into the conference looking for Little Psyko Killa, his homey who had had to take a crazy piss and then never came back to the lowrider.