CHIPANCINGO DE LOS BRAVO, Mexico
Many cultures have recognized the many nutritional benefits of the magically simple legume, the pinto bean, but this week a Mexican mad scientist - together with his Bunsen burners, his beakers, and his tub of crema, supercharged the Mexican staple with some slight genetic modifications.
The pinto bean or frijol (free-hole) has historically been recognized as a natural and potent source of many critical vitamins and minerals. Many US Latinos, particularly those with Mexican roots, easily recognize the countless benefits of the run-of-of-the-mill frijol and continue to use it as the ever present side dish. Many in this group have been known to eat all entrees with a full ladle from the ubiquitous pot on the back burner. It is not uncommon to see pizza, a Big Mac, a ham sandwich, or pasta served with a mound of frijoles.
Just a few of the aforementioned benefits of the pinto bean:
- Increased fertility...Yep, that's why Ximena had 6 kids before she was out of high school. She wasn't lying when she swore she was still a virgin. Some guy sneezed towards her on the subway.
- Super strength...That's right asshole, be rude to the valet and eventually he'll tear your arms off and beat you with them.
- Superior intelligence...nuff said?
- Ability to leap 16 feet and 1 inch (US/Mexico border fence is 16 ft at it's highest....stupid stupid stupid)
- Ability to use hands to burrow far into even the most rocky terrain (Keep building the fence higher and higher)
When asked what the genetic modifications will do to the already nutritious and delicious frijol, the mad scientist said, "Not much. Now the bean will grow and will produce its own internal lard in order to make refrying a cinch."
Want your FREE-JOL delivered? Sign up for eljumpingbean's feed or email delivery at no charge at http://eljumpingbean.blogspot.com .