Can We Just Have The Old Racism Back? This Beta Version Isn't Working Out

We know you called no take backs, but El Guapo and the folks at eljumpingbean are begging to be done with this new, improved racism. It's like Pepsi Clear (remember the short-lived rampage that companies were on in the 80's where they thought we wanted to see through everything?) Anyway, like Pepsi Clear we tried it and we no likey. We'd much prefer a return to our old, worn (but oddly comfortable), run of the mill in-your-face variety of racism.

Nothing like a burning effigy with a big sombrero, wrapped in a Mexican flag to let you know where you stand. Here at eljumpingbean, we like to know where we stand. Instead, what do we get now? Well, plenty of well and not so well-intentioned folks say wonderfully mysterious things that are far too cloaked or ambiguous or wrapped in some serious, transparent racial-guilt.

"I love Latinos."
(All of us? Really? Even we don't like all of us. Glad you like us all though.)

"You're not like a regular Mexican, though. You're different. You know what I mean?"
(No. We don't. At all. But we'd love to keep watching as you awkwardly explain yourself.)

"Did you make these taquitos?"
(Really? I mean the box is right here. Look. You saw me take them out of the freezer and put them into the microwave.)

"Your culture is so lively, so spicy."
(Thanks, but that's not our culture - it's a Taco Bell chimichanga that you covered with a packet of salsa.)

"Oh, but I married a Puerto Rican."
(Oh, sh*t, my fault. Say whatever racist thing you want then, because since you married a Latino, you are wrapped in a cloak of Latino invincibility.)

Let us go back to when we were OTHER and neighbors moved out to the suburbs as soon as you walked the neighborhood with the realtor. Those were simpler times. Let us go back.


  1. Anyone tired of marketers offering "tips" for wooing Hispanic consumers?

    I read this particularly rancid piece of tripe recently (and got into a verbal brawl with a the "Hispanic marketing experts" who defended it):

    [Referring to Hispanics]"Discussions tend to be more emotional, less rational. Non Hispanics will likely tell you: “I agree (or don’t) because: a), b), c)” while most Hispanics will take the emotional and shorter route of… “I love (or hate) it, don’t know why, but I just (or don’t) like it”. Understanding this will allow you to build powerful messages. Try touching their hearts first, not their heads."

    To read the whole blog (and the verbal jujitsu that ensued) follow this link:


    By the way, the forum may still be open. So if you want to join in, feel free.

  2. Interesting concept. Well El Guapo, you certainly do bring a different perspective to events. You mean all those white girls that told me they had a best friend once when they were 12 who was Latina and she was really Smart! were only saying that to get on my good side. Wow! I never knew. And so do you mean to imply that maybe I am not light enough to pass for white so stop saying I am Latina, isn't true. Oh my gosh, this world is a bewildering place, all right. Yes I can see your point. however I never did like being "other." oh oh or an extraction. When people asked me what my extraction was, I always felt like a toothache. No thank you, I think I'll stay with His-panic.
    Jo Ann Hernandez

  3. I am adding. This business with the census label: White, Hispanic and White, Nonhispanic. That is because we are going to be the largest minority in the country, larger than white people. In order to keep the number of white people higher than anyone else, all of a sudden, we Latinos are white now. I remember when we were "other" or an "extraction." I find that very curious indeed.

  4. hehe... I actually made a video about that "hidden" Latino racism


  5. Maya...you're either a valley girl or do a dead on impression, like, you know?

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