1/17/09

Op-Ed: What Would Julio Iglesias Do?

What Would Julio Iglesias Do?


The Godfather...
the man who allowed for the evolutionary leap that is El Guapo...
You try to rock a feathered mullet (apparently a theme this week)...
you can't...YOU CAN'T!!!!
(As a rule, I try to avoid exclamation points, but this situation calls for four)
One man did this and that man is the key to our salvation.


Op-Ed: El Guapo

As a student of history...as a student of the world...as a problem solver...I see what others cannot. My eyes see through the fog which envelops you. I am, you could say, a prophet...and as a great summer movie staring Tobey Mcguire once had as its tag-line - "With great power, comes great responsibility."

And with this said, we must look at our past to find the spirit and example that can allow us to handle challenges with grace, to rise above the fray, and to kick our way through difficult times. With this idea, I introduce a segment to eljumpingbean in which we look at what Julio Iglesias would do if and when he was to encounter specific challenges - be these problems personal, national, or global in nature. Needless to say - he is a man who teaches through example, but he will not do for us what he thinks we can and/or should do for ourselves.

"C'mon, El Guapo, Julio Iglesias is just a man. He sings. He might even have furthered the Latin Lover stereotype. [Truth be told it's the only legitimate and verifiable Latino stereotype out there]. He had a notable career, but how can he help me, my community, my world?" If you are asking this, you are silly and naive and I demand you stop reading this and punch yourself in the face repeatedly for failing to recognize the awe-inspiring power which was divinely poured into this man.

Well, through his examples, we can find the path that we seek.

As a teaser, I have included the scenarios that other frijoleros [loyal eljumpingbean readers] have suggested we engage. We have not included Julio's responses. These will come at a later date. Feel free to ponder and predict until we reveal...

If Julio Iglesias was attacked by an alligator...

If Julio Iglesias' luggage was lost on a flight...

If Julio Iglesias was cut off in traffic...

If Julio Iglesias unwittingly encountered a poltergeist on an anciant Indian cemetary...

If Julio Iglesias was challenged to hand-to-hand combat by a mix martial arts master...

If Julio Iglesias lost his girl to another man...[trick question...This would never happen!]

If Julio Iglesias was captured by Al Queda...

2 comments:

  1. You're the best! I laugh because of you. I want to post to your account but I am not able to be as funny as you. Thank you for the laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fear not...no one is as funny as I am...Any contributions are appreciated. For instance, pose a problem and we can tell you what Julio Iglesias would do...This can be very helpful.

    ReplyDelete

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