Make Your 2009 the Best Year Ever
Let's look at all the things you won't join this year...
--the gym (for longer than a month)...you'll, of course, keep paying the monthly fee because you're convinced you'll start going.
--the cubs scouts (because they won't have you, and, quite frankly, while it may be cute on a kid, the uniform gives everyone the heebs on an adult.)
--a good cause (no one's stopping you, I'm just betting against you. Sorry.)
--the masons (they rule the world you know...but they don't need another member who wants to sit and watch the game and drink a domestic beer rather than actively plot diabolical world domination)
--forces with super-cool crime-fighters (or villains)
--hands with your enemies (screw that noise, they'll get what's coming to them.)
--PETA (you find animals too fun to eat and shoot...hopefully not in that order)
--A fight club again, not after the last time...with all the crying and begging for mercy you did and all that getting pummeled in the face with another person's knee. And yes, I know, we should have seen his knees though.
--the neighborhood watch (you rightfully assume it's an excuse to be a metiche)
But, on the bright side, you can join eljumpingbean, since it requires virtually nothing of you. And when someone asks, "What the heck did you do this year?" You can stand proudly and answer- "I joined LOS FRIJOLEROS at HTTP://ELJUMPINGBEAN.BLOGSPOT.COM That's what I did. Any other wiseguy questions, mom? Get off my back, already. I'm playing Dungeons and Dragons."
However - as a further motivator - in chain letter form, if you do not forward this to ten friends right now, bad luck will befall you immediately. If you do pass us along, you will receive everything beyond your wildest dreams.
Send us out as a late Christmas gift. We're free, and yeah, people are gonna say "What a cheap ass." But you can sleep well knowing you gave them something wonderful...and free.
And you may ask, "El Guapo, why should I join this global movement of brilliant, good-looking people of color?"
1. It's funny and original ...go see for yourself.
2. You're good-looking and this is one of our prerequisites. If you weren't disturbingly attractive, we wouldn't have sent you this invite.
Forward this to ten people...